How One Drawing Helped Me Heal
While some may see a bird when they look at this drawing, I see much more. It is very special to me for several reasons. As a child I drew constantly. I was never without a pencil and drawing pad and no tree, leaf or animal could escape artistic capture. As an adult however, life’s responsibilities got in the way and I replaced drawing with life administration tasks. Sound familiar? It took a life changing event for me to pick up a pencil once again.
A week before Christmas 2020, at the age of 48 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I knew early in my treatment that I would need more than anti-nausea drugs to get me through. I wondered if I could still draw, so I picked up a pencil and tried. It seems the art of drawing is a bit like riding a bike. You might be a bit wobbly if you haven’t done it for awhile but it quickly comes back to you. This picture took me a long time to draw as I am right handed and my lymph nodes under my right shoulder had just been removed so it was hard to move my arm. But I had plenty of time, so I calmly and quietly persisted and was pleasantly surprised at the result. I still had it. I was a bit rusty but I had plenty of time to practice.
Living through a cancer diagnosis and treatment can feel overwhelming at times. Drawing during this time calmed me. It focused my mind on things other than my physical condition. I drew when I was getting chemotherapy and I drew during those long times on the couch when I felt so very sick and was just plain miserable. Drawing helped me more than any drug could. It quite simply, kept me sane.
This picture is special not only because it was my first after a very long break but also because it reminds me of a place I love. I work at a local environment centre which sits in a wetland. Each day when I wonder into work I look up to spot my tawny friends perched high in a tree. They are a constant and they keep watch on us humans as we pass through.
Nature and drawing calm me and nourish my soul. Every time I look at this drawing I have mixed emotions. It reminds me of a place I love to be but also of one of the most challenging yet equally most enlightening periods of my life. My Tawnys, both real and imagined have been the oxygen which refueled a fire in me that had been suppressed for the last 30 years. The flame continues to burn and this time I intend to never let it go out.
Catherine x